Aramelle’s account of The Wrath of Gruumsh
So being a young elf and just finishing up my magic studies. I looked for a place to practice my skills and build a reputation. (besides I was broke and out of money) I had heard about this big ol’ war and decided that I might head up that way and see if anything was still going on. As luck would have it, my first day in town I ran into these recruiters who seemed to be offering a lot of coin for what sounded like a long hike with a fight or two. Since it was part of the irregular forces they said we wouldn’t be doing much of the fighting, just looking around a coming back and telling the Generals where the other guys were.
Sounded good to me, figures, I should have paid attention to my history lessons more. I’m good at it, I just forget to look at my life with history in mind. ie. Irregular forces meet in small engagements on a frequent basis, and usually end up surrounded and overwhelmed by much greater numbers. It’s right there in that history book I read…now why is it that I didn’t think of that when I signed on with this group of mercenaries?
So I figure the best thing to do now is stay out of sight, not get hit and just work on learning more magic. With time and practice I should be able to get some stronger spells that are more useful.I get assigned to this squad, our duties are to go out and scout the enemy. Sounds good right? I am introduced to this corporal, he seems nice enough but a bit belligerent. Not sure why, pay seems decent to me for the no risk missions we should be doing. He’s always grumbling about not paid enough. Anyway his name is Rand Al’thor.. I’m sure I’ve heard that someplace before.. but I know for sure it wasn’t this guy. Some shifty looking hafling named Audrey five fingers, now mind you why he is named after his hand is beyond me.. then again.. he’s not what you would call attractive.. unless of course you like looking at the ass end of dogs. I also meet this priest, cleric.. whatever.. prays to some god and he heals..got it.. so why’s he looking more like a fighter than our leader? Well his name is Biship.. or bishop.. or .Bish’p or… bleh something like that.
We’re sent out to do some scouting.. ok I get it.. go look from a distance..don’t get in fights.. bring back info. Got it.. easy enough.
We end up following this path up a hill (after some orcs who had killed some other scouting party..not the brightest of ideas there). The trail doubles back on itself and the entire time I can’t help but think what a great place to roll rocks down on top of us. So we move along and sure enough a hobgoblin tries to ambush us, he hits our corporal first (probably all the racket he makes while moving.. I swear I’ve never seen a ranger who is less quiet) I get off a warning yell before the hobgoblin shoots anyone and I dive behind a rock.. (stupid hobgoblin next time roll boulders down don’t shoot a tiny crossbow). Now I’m starting to wonder, why didn’t the ranger see him before me.. for crying out loud I’m the one who’s been studying books for the last 10 years, he’s been out and about supposedly fighting and running through woods and all that junk. We won’t mention the others, like the priest who seems confused as to whether he’s a fighter or a man of.. whatever God he worships. The halfing jumps off and hides just like me.. smart guy I could get to like him.. but he’s even too greedy for his own good, and there is something else about him.. I just don’t think I can trust him. Anyway I’m down here getting shot at and all I can think about it how my magic instructor told me I’d never need a bow again because I’d have magic. Ok.. lesson learned.. get a longbow and arrows AS SOON AS ELVENLY POSSIBLE!!!!. Maybe when I can cause the sky to rain or something or control lightning I won’t need a bow, but for the moment.. ohh yeah.. bow.. GREAT IDEA (stupid instructor.) So back to this fight.. yea Hobgoblin gives away his position and I sit and watch while my squad proceeds to smear him across the trail. Did I mention he was stupid??
So we keep scouting around and come upon this trail which has seen some recent use. We follow it. Turns out it leads to a cavern.. and it starts to storm just as we approach the cavern. what we are doing this far off away from the army we’re supposed to look for is anyone’s idea… ohh right.. the ranger..getting us lost now. (how did we end up with a ranger with no sense of direction as our leader?)So why did we end up in this cavern, ohh that’s right.. there “MIGHT” be a way through the mountain there.. haha.. I’m broke I admit it, I need gold, especially if I’m going to cast some of these more exotic spells. Can you believe that Identify takes a pearl that has a diameter is as big as a gold coin??? How often do you see a pearl that large? I know I’ve only seen one once. I figure I’ll pick up that spell later after I can afford a few of those monsters. I’m hoping that this cave will have some lost chest in it..doesn’t hurt to look and we still have time to do the scouting we’re not due back for a bit yet. But we do need to keep in mind that the army needs our scouting report.
Anyway back to this cave. As we approached the cave, a storm comes up. (Ohh wonderful rain, good thing my spell books are wrapped in oil cloth.) Right cave.. how was that again.. storm.. cave .. really bad storm.. cave.. goblins… dead goblins.(or was that orcs?? ehh same thing, smelly and beastlike). ooops.. getting ahead of myself. We get into this cave and things are looking ok. We push into the cave and start poking around. Now I’m not sure if it’s the smell of our halfling friend or the clanking our priest and our leader make every step they takes (whoever thought a ranger could sound as loud as a forge out in the woods?) But we sure did end up startling some rats. Nasty buggers but too small to do much of anything except step on them. Unfortunately my spells are a bit overkill for these guys and the group seems to be doing well, but just as I think we have things in hand another group runs out of a tunnel.. /sigh. I throw my staff at them hoping that will at least startle and slow them down, give my squad enough time to stomp on the ones we have and move on to these ones. Just my luck, staff doesn’t do anything and now everyone is getting a laugh at my expense. Ahh well I was warned there’d be days like this as a wizard.. lots of contempt for being useless and then the inevitable.. what’s this, what’s that, can you identify this for me… questions. Damn am I glad I didn’t bother with Identify yet or I’d be even more poor already.
By this time we’re plenty tired and we decide it’s time to rest up a bit, (besides our leader took a nasty arrow by that hobgoblin) So we rest up, mind you I’m not tired, just the rest of them have been busy doing all these killing things etc. Me.. I just tossed my staff around a bit. HA HA I know I know.. just you wait until I have a bow. So I get watch, I don’t mind at least it’s quiet so I can study some more. hmm ya know ya’d think I’d learn not to think thoughts like that but sure enough. Scrape scrape.. /sigh I go and wake up my party and tell them something is coming up that tunnel we didn’t go down and explore. We all get ready and as usual that damn priest and the ranger alert the guys about to attack us. I do my usual hide behind my staff.. and the group wipes these guys up too. Hmm.. maybe being quiet won’t be an issue not if they keep doing that. Anyway we loot the corpses.. and check out these other tunnels. Side tunnels are basically empty. So down we go.. Did I mention I’m poor? Somehow this is starting to look less and less like a good idea.
We get to the final room and wowsa.. 3 dead ..huh goblin lords.. or was it orcs?? ehh they both stink.. Anyway there is this altar in the back and five fingered greedy is damn near salivating over it. We move inside and dammit.. now I know this was a bad idea.. why’d this elf need gold.. oh right more spells.. gotta keep that in mind. So these dead carcasses sit up and start attacking. Yay.. so why didn’t I memorize grease? or hell anything useful.. I’ve got one magic missile which I use on the big guy with the.. ohhh shiny.. I mean nice staff. in the middle. The priest does something with his god and gets one of the dead things to head for the corner. I’m all for that. In the meantime I’ve somehow got the attention of one of these things and I just use my staff to keep it away from me.. the heck with hitting it.. I’ll let the big guys with muscles whack them, they seem to like doing that anyway.
Se we eventually get the 2 down and just have the one in the corner. Priest did a good job on him, let’s see used my magic missile, cantrips are useless. Sleep.. how the hell do you sleep a dead thing? Find secret doors.. yea right.. maybe after they are dead. Ahh well I know I take off my robe and get ready to tangle up the dead thing.. if he’s tangled he can’t hit anyone now can he? Should make it easy to just beat the crap out of him until he’s dead. (for the 2nd. or 3rd.. how many times do you kill a dead thing anyway?) Meanwhile 5 fingered shrimp seems to have the same idea and tosses his marbles under the dead things feet.
I back off and let the muscles beat on it. HEY!!!! it just ripped up my robe.. what the hell am I going to wear now? Anyway they get to whacking on it and suddenly the other dead things start to rise again.. WTF!!!@$#%. Ok so killing them that way doesn’t work, I do notice that 5 fingers isn’t drooling over the altar anymore he’s attacking it. I noticed that when he hit it the dead things seemed to hurt. So I say what the hell and stick the torch in the altar and burn it. Sure enough 3 dead things start burning. So we destroy the altar and take off.. and I got this really nice.. Hey Shiny!!! i mean staff.
Outside we’re met with a patrol and we get all healed up etc. We set up camp for the night, and are introduced to two new guys, 1/2 half-orc (oh great, now we’re gonna have issues) And another walking iron factory. Of course while the other one was a good color for battle this guy has his all brite and shiny, he’s just wanting to be noticed. Remind me again.. we’re scouts right?? Not bait? I’m starting to think my pay isn’t enough for this crap, Rand might be right after all. Can you believe the quartermaster is charging us for equipment and provisions.. something definitely wrong there too. I guess I’m not the only poor person but still this seems a cheap way to run a combat outfit.. bad on morale and all that.
Well at least we don’t have to set a guard, we get all freshened up and make camp. I get a robe and food and a BOW.. wonderful precious bow.. kiss kiss (the bow.. not .. never mind )