Unbrothers and Half-friends
Varg’s account of his first adventure, The Wrath of Gruumsh.
Big day for Varg. Many cuts and bruises. Came close to being nothing, but still something, right now. Still Varg. Still angry.
Arrowman said our group go up mountain. Scouting. Army of unbrothers approaching, we were told to spot them and report. They look like Varg, kind of. But don’t like Varg. Varg should be careful.
We went up trail. Arrowman in the front, halffriends in between. Our group not so strong. Varg pretty strong, but could be stronger.
Suddenly a big guy came out. Meaner than Varg. Shot some pointy arrows and make a big noise. Pissed off. Varg hit the dirt, so did halffriends. Arrowman sounded scared. Arrowman supposed to be a leader, right? Then why so quick behind a rock, Arrowman?
Halffriend the magic guy hid too. Not Varg. Tried to run up the mountainside. Tumbled and dove. Felt cool. Big guy didn’t notice. Oh well.
But other halffriends were faster. Sent big guy to nothing. They high-fived, halffriends did, but didn’t high-five with Varg. No problem. Varg checked out the big guy’s personals. Nothing special. Cool skull, though.
Big hole in the mountain. Halffriends can’t see in there. Arrowman said to go in, Varg, you can see. OK, you are still leader, even though you hide behind rocks all the time, Arrowman. Varg went in. Something running around. Varg threw skull at somethings, hoped for explosion, but now. Varg came out and made report.
We all went in, torches on, halffriends can see too. Some unbrothers came up to us, acted like jerks. We killed them. Not halffriend the magic guy, though – he hid. But Arrowman didn’t, this time. One unbrother hit Varg in head. Ow. Can’t remember this stuff so good.
Went in some more. Not dark for Varg. In one room, a weird skullthing came out. Varg smashed. Halffriends missed it but almost hit Varg. Varg knew skulls were cool! Wished big guy’s skull had been this cool. Too bad.
Went in some more. Arrowman give orders. Theify halffriend took some stuff. Shiny, yeah, but not so cool stuff. Varg don’t care. Arrowman made Varg climb through a small hole. Couldn’t see much good, Arrowman got a little angry. Varg has trouble following orders, but tried to be a good halffriend.
And then into one bad room, we went. Unlifed unbrothers! Ungrandfathers, three of them. One halffriend made an unlifed guy hide, really scared. But the other two were angry and strong. Varg hit a guy, did good. But also, Varg got hit. Fell down. Lot of Varg blood all over the ground. A big Ow, for sure. Varg definitely don’t remember this part, except Ow. Hard to forget that.
Later, Varg woke up. A halffriend helped him. Varg said Thank You. Halffriend smiled. The unlifed guys were all really nothinged now. All burned. Bad smell, hurt Varg’s stomach. Some kind of praying-table against the wall, covered with bones and unlifed stuff. All smashed and burned now, Varg didn’t do that. Guess it was halffriends. Good job, halffriends.
And our group went out another small hole. Then we all saw: big unbrother team! So many! And really angry! Arrowman said we should tell the bosses. OK, we went back to where we killed the big guy. Some bosses there, halffriends of halffriends, and some kind of argument about healing. Varg still hurt a lot, but he knew his halffriends tried to help him. That was nice. Still Ow. Still some vargblood leaking out.
Finally Varg was on a horse. Gallop, gallop, we’re going back to tell the bosses. Each gallop, an Ow. But it’s easier than walking. Today was a big day. Varg will have a good sleep today. Tomorrow, maybe find a cool skull. Cool.